PS. I love this bear so much. It says you are my sunshine around its belly. You can often find it laying on my bed next to me, or on the nightstand by my bed. I love it.
Even the tough days are worth it. I got to have Shaun for only a short while, but his impact will be felt the rest of my life. I am so blessed to have known him, love him and to have been loved by him.
A couple of songs that have inspired me, and lifted me. I love the way music can do that.
Josh Wilson - Pushing Back The Dark
Before the Morning, Josh Wilson
It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars. Richard Evans I have been pondering this quote for some time now. I talk about sunshine all the time. (Not obsessed, just looking for all that is light and bright.) I have been thinking it over and over I wanted to talk about it a bit. The brightest stars can only shine and be seen in the darkest skies. This is so true. The darker the sky, the brighter the stars. This has been true in my personal life as well. In my dark and sad moments, I have been gifted with the best of blessings. I'm not saying it's a blessing that Shaun passed away. I'm saying that as I've taken a step back, I can see how very blessed I am. There have been other dark moments in my life. Looking back, those have been the times where I have can now recognize all of the joy, and light and blessings in my life. It's more than just recognizing the good in my life, it's about realizing all that I'm being blessed with as well. I also chose to focus on that part of my life. It’s only in the trials and struggles that we can discover just how much we are blessed. You might be walking under dark skies right now, but take take a moment to look up and see the brightest of stars. Let them serve as a wonderful reminder that there’s always a light that’s shining.
I found this tonight when I needed it.
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. ~ Denis Waitley My happiness lies in my own hands, and not that of others. Others may bring us happiness or joy, but ultimately it us up to us to choose happiness. Thank You Rikki for sharing this.
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. I loved being silly together and laughing together. There was never a shortage of laughter. But mostly I just loved being loved by this man. Such an amazing spirit, and such an amazing best friend. You are missed, and I'm sorry we had to let you go.
This may not look like much but there is a sweet story about this tucked away picture. A couple months ago, Shaun's brother Brock helped me clean out his car. These are two of the items that he found. The little pearl pin was from our wedding day. He had it pinned to his ceiling in his car since the day we got married, and this little picture was found in his car as well. Brock's wife Leslie, thoughtfully relocated the two items to my car, and pinned them on my ceiling above my visor, so that I'd have them with me. Small but sweet reminder that he is always with me and watching over me. So if you are in my car, take a peak at this tucked away reminder.
Some Bunny Likes Me! Got this cute little guy from a good friend of mine and his son. So blessed to have people around me who care about me and who support me, and who make my day better. Surround yourself with good people who lift you up.
Some days it seems as though everything is perfect and good. We are happy and joyful, and its easy to be that way. Other days don't go as planned and are tough. There has been some things I'm teaching my self about happiness and having a good happitude. The first is surround yourself by good people. They will lift you up. Next is enjoy the simple things. Take time everyday to find something that made you happy. It is amazing how simple things can increase your happiness. (Like this little notebook to the left. My mom made it for me.) I find that writing helps me get all my feelings out. Even if no one reads it but me. Its been healing. I know it's not always easy to be happy. Sometimes tough things will happen. We will struggle, cry or break down. When this happens, ultimately it's our choice how we are going to react and our choice to be happy. When the light and the joy doesn't come easy, some days I'll have to find or make my own. I do this often. I choose to be happy and shine. My hope is to shine a little brighter than the day before and keep moving forward. It's a process though. Today I was blessed to witness a love like this... I sat back in my car and let Rylee walk over alone. I gave him a few moments to just take it in. Rylee had not been back to Shaun's grave since the funeral. I'm sure it was a lot for this little guy to take in. I didn't want him to have to take it all in alone for to long but I wanted to just sit back and watch. I was able to capture this beautiful moment. Where there is much grief, there was much love. These two had an undeniable bond. Shaun loved Rylee as his own. It was neat to see how easily Shaun fell into the role of his father. He always treated Rylee as his own son. Rylee told me that as he knelt there, he sang Shaun, "You Are My Sunshine." I walked over to Rylee after a couple minutes and sat next to him on the grass. He crawled into my lap and just sobbed. Poor little guy. I'm grateful that I have the knowledge that we can see him again, grateful we had a love so strong, and grateful these two had a bond so strong. We love you and miss you everyday Shaun, but we also celebrate you and celebrate the beautiful life we had together.
I had heard about the Alex and Ani store only a couple of times from friends and my sister. It's a jewelry store that sells American made, recycled jewelry, with a charity by design. Part of their proceeds go to specific charities. Each piece boasts of good energy and is made with love. It was an experience I wont soon forget. I fell in love with their jewelry and in love with their message and what they as a company are trying to do. So much so I came out with 9 bracelets and a necklace. (Yes I shared.)
I picked what I liked then I read the messages with them and knew they were perfect for me. I teared up in the store as I shared my story of my late husband and our Sunshine Journey. Here are what each of these 3 represent. Sun- A perfectly crafted, 8-sided sun represents the universal law that life’s outcomes are a reflection of your efforts. You have limitless opportunity to positively lead and affect others. Empower yourself to shine brighter than yesterday, to let your passions spark action. Astound yourself and those around you with your abilities. Embrace the energy of this powerful charm and create your own new beginning. Open to Love- Love is the greatest virtue of them all. Love warms the existence of mankind and elevates the spirit. Wear this charm to represent love, share love, or receive love. Completely Blessed- All gifts in life come directly from above. Living in the present is the ultimate gift, full of promise and possibility. Allow yourself to be open to life’s greatest moments without taking anything for granted. Seize your opportunities and realize that you are divinely and completely blessed everyday in every moment. I truly believe that when you are looking for the light and bright, you will find it. In Vegas, you can't miss all the lights. I went to Las Vegas over spring break with my cute friend Kerry. She let me do what ever I wanted. We laid by the pool, went the spa, and I shopped way to much. She even let me pick the hotel. We stayed at the Paris hotel. I love Paris, almost as much as I love the sunshine theme in my life right now. At the hotel the have a half size model of the real Eiffel tower. I've been up the real one but this was different. This one overlooks the Vegas lights. We go up and walk all around and then I spot it. Most of you know my late husband Shaun worked for YESCO. They build the led billboards that are all over Vegas. Right there in front of me were two of the projects he helped build while we were married. The Aria sign on the right, and the Walgreen's sign across the street on the left. He had mentioned it once before, but then I saw them. I stared for what seemed like and eternity. I just looked at his creation. Tears ran down my cheeks, but I wasn't sad. It was a beautiful reminder that no matter where I am, he is with me. Thank you Kerry for letting me stay as long as I wanted/needed.
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