I just got these pictures from a cousin of mine. I think Cody was right, it would have been good to have band stickers on his casket. Lol. My favorite part was when we released all of the yellow balloons. My sweet moms idea. Feeling Lucky is right. I was lucky to have been loved by Shaun. No one had really given Shaun the change to be truly loved by him, accept me. It was the best choice I have ever made. Every day I am grateful that I felt a love so strong, a bond that even in death, is unbreakable. These beautiful flowers are a wonderful reminder about how lucky I was to be married to my best friend. Because I've loved so greatly once, I know that one day when I'm ready, I will find that love again. When you are open to love, it will find it's way strait to your heart. I awoke to find this message on my messenger this morning. It was just what I needed. Love you Laura It's not easy some days to be happy. I'm real with myself though. I know I'll get sad, because I miss him so much, but it's normal, and I'm ok with a little sad mixed in with a lot of glad. You know, I made a choice early on to shine. I can't change whats happened in my life. I only have control over me and guess what? I "Choose to Shine!"
I look forward to all the love, light and sunshine I have been receiving. This was on my back porch when I came home today from a trip. A smiley balloon, an sunshine bag with these things inside. First a sunshine candle that smells yummy. Also there were sun catchers. What I love about the idea of sun catchers is that they literally are there to "catch the light." There is light all around if we choose to "catch it." I look forward to making these with Rylee, and catching as much light as I can. Thanks for the reminder, thanks for the love and thanks for the Light. PS. I love you all too.
Today was my first day back to visit Shaun's grave since his funeral. I'm working on getting him a proper headstone very soon. I took him yellow flowers. Not because he liked that color, but because It is kind of our theme right now. So pretty and bright. Tucked inside the bouquet are two purple butterflies. If you look at the picture closely, you can see them peaking out. Purple is my favorite color of course. The butterflies symbolize the transformation we have both been taking over the last few months. Him on the other side and me here. I couldn't stay long. I just miss him too much. It seems like a dream sometimes that he is gone, and at other times its so real I can hardly breath. I'm grateful for the beautiful but brief life we had together. I'm a better person because he was part of my life. His smile lit up the room, and changed my whole world. I love you Shaun.
I have some of the best parents on earth. I got this book and card from them on my recent visit to them. I love them so much. I hope they know how much respect and love I have for all that they have done for me. I don't know that I could ever repay them. They have raised me to be the amazing and independent person I am. Through this whole process they have been my support even from afar. Silently standing by and stepping in just when I need it. Never pushy or overbearing, just the right amount of love and support like they have always done. I've learned to rely on my family so much more.
My parents took care of so much during Shaun's funeral. They made the fliers, dealt with the funeral home, arranged things with family, and thought of special ways to celebrate Shaun's life. They took care of all the little details I didn't want to think about, didn't know I needed to think about, and everything no wife wants to ever deal with. No one thinks that at 33 that they will have to bury their husband. They helped make his funeral so special and memorable, and brought such a spirit there. They were there every step of the way making sure not only I was taken care of but those around me. They loved Shaun so much too and he was a big part of our family. Everyone loved him, and he was just one of us. At Shaun's funeral, my dad said the prayer. You wouldn't believe how many people told me that it was such an amazing and moving prayer. He was so in tune to what needed to be said. I want to share somthing about my dad. He is the strong silent type. He lets us live the lives we choose, and just trusts that we will make good choices because he taught us too. He lets us make mistakes and is there to lift us up even when those mistakes are wrong. I just love him. My dad rarely says much, but he is getting soft in his old age. :) He posted this on my facebook the other day and my day just lit up. I love you mom and dad. I just love that I get to find a little bit of light and bright wherever I go. I found this while playing hookie from work. Only one, and it was my size. It was meant for me. I'm loving my sunshine life.
I just found out that my school has a sunshine committee. What? I've never heard of such a thing, but it does what you might think. Its there to lift morale and spirit at work. This month we are having munching through March, and every Friday we bring treats. I was the first to sign up, I made Sunshine punch, and sunflowers out of olives and cheese, and brought sunflower seeds, and more yellow and bright treats. Glad this committee exists.
I revived 2 of these in the last few months. A box of sunshine. They were amazing. I had a friend who needed a little lift herself, so I reused the box and gave here a little bit of the sunshine that had been given to me. Thanks Tara for the box, and I hope the recipients day was brightened. It has made the biggest difference in my life to bring joy to other people. The first thing you have to do is find joy in yourself and love your self. Then you have to find joy in simple things like doing the laundry, little boys laughs, or a beautiful day. Next you need to let that light shine. Let others see your joy, your happiness and that brightness. Last share it. Share that light, joy, and love. It's hard to feel sad for to long when you are sharing the joy, the light, and the bright. The sunshine seems to stick around longer when you share it with those around you. Be a source of joy and light in the world. The world needs more of it.
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